Jay Jacobson

Jay Jacobson, 63, passed away peacefully on December 21, 2012, at the Kaplan Family Hospice House in Danvers, MA. The son of Shirley and Larry Jacobson, Jay was born in Bayonne, NJ, and lived for many years in Summit, NY, before moving to Waltham and then Beverly, MA. He is survived by his sons, David and Sean Hussey; his partner, Marcy Ross; and his sister and brother-in-law, Marsha and Mark Mullane, as well as many, many friends who loved him dearly. For more than a decade, Jay served as the Director of Management Information Systems for Dav El Transportation in Chelsea, MA, a position he held until his passing. A self-taught computer programmer, Jay founded Customatics, a highly successful custom software company, in the 1970s, so he would have the flexibility to “go on tour” with the Grateful Dead—seeing his beloved Jerry Garcia perform countless times before his icon died in 1995. Throughout his life, Jay was known for his incredible generosity, a trait he learned from his wonderful parents. Whenever someone tried to pay him back for a kindness he’d rendered, Jay would tell them to donate the money to the Greater Boston Food Bank, so contributions in his memory can be made there , to other local food banks, or to Hospice of the North Shore and Greater Boston in appreciation of the wonderful care he received during his illness.


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18 Condolences

  1. Anne Liddell on January 11, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    Rest in Peace, Jay. You will forever be in the memories of my children and I. Your love and support gave us great strength through some very tough times. You lived with dignity and grace and we are so thankful that we got to spend time with you. My sincere condolences to Marcy, your sons, and your sister and brother-in-law, Love, Anne and the Kids

  2. Patty Remmell on January 13, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    Rest in peace, Jay. You will always be the consummate Deadhead and truly the kindest and most generous person I have ever had known. I feel so privileged to have been able to call you friend.

  3. Joey on January 13, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    Jay was the most Loving person i ever had the pleasure to have known. He had a lot of patience, as i frustrated him, he would find the shift and use the experience as a life lesson. a candle will always be lite for him.

  4. Steve Oxley on January 16, 2013 at 2:07 pm



    Rest in peace Jay

  5. Rick Napoli on January 17, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    Jay you were a great person with a big heart. You were a kind, generous, and thoughtful man. You will always be in our thoughts.

  6. Marc A. Lee on January 18, 2013 at 4:33 pm

    Jay Jacobson was the ultimate “friend in need” for so many in the extended, on-line community that he helped to sustain as various internet platforms came and went. He was the older brother many of us wish we’d had.
    You did more good, for more lives than you ever knew, old friend, and your loss leaves an empty space in many hearts. Rest in peace, Jay … you’ve certainly earned it.

  7. Jen Prestage on January 23, 2013 at 5:35 pm

    Rest in Peace, Jay. You were one of the kindess people I ever knew. You will be missed by so many. ((((((jay))))))

  8. Tom Denman on January 26, 2013 at 3:04 am

    Jay, I have known no friend greater, wiser or more loving than you. You’ve no idea just what you meant to me. I am a better man for having known you and I will say the rest of my goodbye at Summit later this year.
    Marcy, Jay shared the sheer joy and state of grace he walked in for your having come into his life. I think I speak for all your friends when I say that we are all extremely fortunate you came into our lives. But most importantly, you gave Jay a perfection to his life that no amount of health and wealth could’ve ever afforded him. We ALL love you for that.
    David, I think you know how I feel about you, and I hope you know the pride your Dad felt for you. We’ll see you soon.

  9. Joye Fisher on February 18, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    Dear family and close loved ones,

    May your sadness and grief be shadowed by the comfort of knowing that Jay made a difference in so many peoples lives. He made this world a little better place than it was before he was here. His generosity was remarkable and his kindess overflowing. His humor would bring laughter to many. His love for his children and family was unconditional. May God bless you and may your memories of Jay bring you peace and contentment.

  10. Charlie Samarrai on February 18, 2013 at 4:19 pm

    Within days of meeting Jay online in a Grateful Dead chatroom, we were the closest of friends. It was one of the dearest, most beloved friendships I’ve ever had. He was honest to a fault, generous, kind, and selfless. Not a single day went by that I didn’t witness his kindness to others. I keep 3 pictures of him on my desk, serving as a reminder of this friendship. I miss him dearly. Jay was Jewish. I am 1/2 arab. If only the world could be as close and loving, what a wonderful world it would be. I hope to see him again someday. God bless Jay Jacobson. He was a friend of mine.

  11. ML Van Valkenburgh on February 25, 2013 at 5:33 am

    Kind of late in posting this, but you are loved and missed. I am proud to be able to say that you were my friend. May your hereafter be full of music and friends! <3

  12. Nicole Anderson on July 13, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    I pray that you will rest in peace. It appears that you had a good life with many loving people to share it with. Your kindness and generosity will always be a part of your legacy. God Bless You!

  13. Sue on September 29, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    Fare you well (((Jay))) and thank you for all of the good you have done in our world. I hope you are having a great time up there in Dead Heaven with Jerry and others. May Peace Be With You!

  14. Tom Palczewski on April 17, 2014 at 7:42 pm

    Best Wishes Jay- We had fun as kids.

  15. Amanda Laraine on July 20, 2014 at 12:14 am

    I am proud to have known Jay. David or Sean if you see this, I hope you are well. Please feel free to drop me an email anytime. Jay was a good guy. When i was a teenager, Jay helped me out at a pivotal time in my life to get on my feet when things could have gone really badly, even though he barely knew me, opening his home to me. It was a real turning point and Jay was one of the most unique and memorable people i have had the privilege of knowing. I hope his wish of having his tapes tossed in with him was honored 😉 See you in the Promised Land

  16. Matt Gilreath on August 9, 2014 at 3:06 am


    I really have no words to describe what an awesome man Jay was. I first met him in 1998-99 while going to high school with his boys, who I became friends with almost instinctively and immediately. Jay had a light that I will sorely miss, and he was my amazing introduction to the music of Jerry Garcia. I do not think I have ever felt more heartbroken during the Days Between, than for the man who helped me experience it all. My mother was dying of breast cancer and Jay, Dave and Sean took me to more shows than I can count. Love and blessings to you all


  17. Mattie Gilreath on August 9, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    Also, Sean and Dave please contact me if you see this. I will always think of you guys as brothers; it has been a while.

  18. ahippiechick420 on November 21, 2015 at 8:52 am

    I will miss my dear old friend….somehow thought he would be on this planet forever – he was an AMAZING man – I knew him better than most could claim to and he will forever live in my heart – with perhaps my best memory being his attitude about that awful hill at the Family gathering in Alpine WI
    goodbye old man :'(

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